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October 03, 2006

Comments

All of these recent shootings just make me sick. The Amish community one that is just absolutely horrible, and at times you just feel helpless.

Being a teacher whenever we see something like this happen you can't help but worry just a little bit about copycat's. Just a cruel sick world sometimes

Phats - yes, I was very curious about your take on this. I would hate to be a teacher during these times of school shootings. The events don't only influence those directly involved. Kids and teachers states (or provinces) away must do a lot of reflecting.

This was the subject at lunch today, and although we couldn't solve the worlds problems we did have some ideas. One idea is to let boys be boys. Let them fight it out on the playground. They are not allowed to be boys so they turn to Knives and guns when it all could have been solved with a blackeye in 6th grade.

Yes, seeing as the one last week hit real close to home. It's sad. These nuts need help. Seriously.

Cake Lady -- that's a good call.

Cake Lady - hmmm, glad to see you're talking about this. As a young boy I'm not sure letting me duke it out with others boys would have solved anything. Sure it might "get some aggression out", but you can achieve this also by playing kickball or tag. I got in my fair share of fights as a kid and it solved nothing. Just my thoughts is all. I do appreciate you sharing your ideas. I have knives by the way.

Eunice - yep, I bet that one did. They do need help. They say most of these kids seek revenge. Revenge from what? Can't we all just get along?

Eunice & Cake Lady - I guess I feel pretty strongly about the fighting thing. I just don't see it helping the cause. If anything, it gets kids more worked up. The loser of the fight, such as myself, will constantly seek revenge. I don't think that's necessarily a good thing.

It's just the general lack of humanity we seem to have as a whole, especially, or more specifically, in the States. It can be seen everywhere from our day to day interactions to the front our government portrays. Humanity is lacking. What can prevent things like this?? Be nice. Be nice to your children and they will be nice to other children. Be mean to your children and they will be mean. Respect your kids by setting limitations.

Just saying, not that I have kids.

As far as maple goes, WHAT?? I'm totally stopping by Starbucks NOW!

Stephanie - I truly believe your solution could work. However, we're not parents so it's easy to say. Being nice is great in theory, but if there's nice... there's likely mean not too far away. This stuff does happen across the globe. We hear about it more here, but 225 deaths at schools in the past 7 years? Yikes.

Let me know what you think of the maple drinks.

Yes, I agree with Phats. It does make us teachers a bit nervous. Odd that this seems to keep happening in areas where you wouldn't expect such violence. You just never know...

My coffee shop has yummy maple stuff too - it's the first time I've treated myself to a storebought pastery all year! (a cupcake nonetheless!)

Brooke - I'm so glad you chimed in on this. I can't imagine how tough these stories are for teachers. How do you handle it with your students? Do you set them aside and discuss it or hope it doesn't come up? Thanks for the feedback Brooke.

I get sick of hearing this depressing stuff and refrain from watching/reading the news, which doesn't solve anything really....

Katy - maple stuff is good. Very tasty indeed. It sounds like the pastry was worth the wait.

Cherry - I see where you're going with that, but you can't turn a blind eye. It doesn't help matters, however it's a hard one issue to correct. I wish I had some solutions. How's life over there?

The violence is simply a symptom of a greater problem. Treating the symptoms isn't going to change the fact that far too many parents are not very involved in their children's lives, and so feel that they can make it up to them by being their "friend" instead of their parent. Even though it has been proven time and again that children actually feel safer and happier when they have consistent rules, parents opt for the non-parenting "buddy" option. Children are not expected to respect others, are not held accountable for their actions, are not expected to obey - what kind of person does this breed?

As for your desensitisation, that has happened to so many people. Violent games, toys, movies and shows are the norm. What's another dead body? I was shocked to learn how desensitized I'd become at some point before my first was born. I notice now that we have no telly channels and don't get to movies much, I find violence very shocking once again. So on the bright side, you CAN become RE-sensitized.

Also, for a lot of us, it's a psychological coping mechanism. If we dwelt on each issue of violence we heard about, we would be wrecks. Which is why our minds shut it off or push it away, which is how we get desinsitized.

There are a lot of places all around us where we see that life is not valued as it once was, and a lot of people have accepted that as the norm.

Candace - you have some great insight on this topic. I'm sure being a mother of four children really must make you think about this topic often. I really appreciate your take on this issue.

It's weird I saw many violent movies and played video games most of my childhood. I turned out alright, but I think being raised in a very loving big family is the wildcard here.

Ooooooo, real maple,
do they have immagrants harvest it?
The school shooting thing, it's out of control, isn't it?
I wish there were easy answers, I do think it is a symptom of something seriously unhealthy in our society.

Logo - yes, it is real maple harvested by legals. The school shooting stuff is a bad sign if you ask me, but what the heck do I know? I'm just a rinky dink blogger in Seattle.

As a parent (and even long before) I am amazed at how bad most parents are at raising kids. I would love to see parents held accountable for the actions of their children. It's up to the parents to do a good job so lets put some pressure on them. It takes more than 3 minutes in the back seat to be a parent.
Also, I know this will not be popular but, This country, and all countries for that matter, do not need guns. There only purpose is to make killing easy. We have no need for them anymore.
I could go on and on but I won't, at least not here.

Mad William - hello and welcome to my blog. Hey, you won't find any agruments from me here with your ideas. I hate guns and I do think parents need to be held more accountable. I'm not sure how to get both of those things to happen though. Feel free to spill your mind on my blog. We're simply having a discussion about a very important topic for the world's future.

Sorry Egan that my blog keeps making you crash :( I took down the music, Steph added some music to her guest post but I don't think that would do it. Nobody else is having problems though

Phats - I know, it's user error.

you want me to start copying and pasting my entry's into my comments hahahaha :)

Efo, I'm guessing that the difference between right and wrong was made very clear to you. I'm sure at some point your parents must have discussed stuff with you that had happened in the movies you saw.

Sadly, I think that doesn't happen so much anymore, and so the behaviours displayed in the films are both percieved and accepted as the norm.

I remember my parents debating whether Batman was OK for my sis and I to watch. :-) Look at what we watched as kids vs. what is shown today. The film industry continues to push the limits of acceptability in terms of graphic violence. And of course it's much more realistic than ever before.

Honestly, how many films that we watched featured slow-mo blood sprays and splashes, slashed up victims, swords or bullets ripping through flesh, decapitated heads bouncing along (again, often in slow-mo) - all that junk? The trend is to go for shock value, and once that level of shock value has been used, it's not shocking anymore, so they feel compelled to move on to the next level. I often wonder where it will stop. Will the public finally say "enough!" ? Or are we to be treated to real dead bodies on the news, live fire-fights and executions?

OK, (/serious mode) That oughta take care of me for a few mos, LOL!

On a much happier note, MAPLE?? OK, now I have this Huuuuuuuuuge dilemma, cuz, like, HOW am I supposed to choose? I mean, I less-than-three the pumpkin spice so very much - how can I two-time it with Maple?? Oh, the agony of decision-making.

BTW - I'm not laying all of the troubles on the film industry's doorstep; it's just one of the contributors, coupled with a bunch of other things (to include crappy parenting.)

hmm Shannon had problems too it's not just you! I will work on it, but tgp mcsratchy had it open right away for her

Tall Chick - you honestly do make a great point about this stuff. I guess my only beef with making this complaint is the following. People say the same thing about video games and/or goth music being responsible for school shootings. A video game is no different than a book. Are we going to ban Steven King books because of their gory content? Listening to Marilyn Manson music doesn't turn anyone into a psycho killer. My parents were present so I must give them credit for filtering me from many things.

I do believe sound parenting does help. But how do we solve that? Should there be parenting exams similar to driver's exams? Ratings? Movies, video games, and music do have ratings to help parents and kids make informed decisions. Are those enforcable? Should they be? How are those limits determined? Too many unanswered questions.

We'll see what happens from here. I read today that Mr. Bush plans to discuss the matter in more detail over the next couple weeks. Let's hope some ground can be made. I'm not picking on you Candace. I really do think you make some great observations. (For the record I hate all John Woo movies) I want to present the other side of the argument.

Candace - so did you try the maple yet?

Phats - I'm not making shit up. Your site pulls up, but then takes forever to load. There's something that was added late last week which created this problem. I use a Mac at home and a PC at work and both have issues with your blog. Safari at home and IE at work. Yes, I don't use Firefox because I'm not a convert yet. Best of luck getting it fixed.

Maple muffin avec un cafe creme, s'il vous plait.

Hmm well I had tons of problems last Thurs with the football post, it was taking forever to load and I am very impatient and started to mess with it. I deleted that whole entire post in hopes that might turn things back to normal? haha.

I did ask a couple other people though and none of them had problems weird? Anyway sorry for making your computer crash

ChickyBabe - very clever mon amie. Huh, je pense qu'il y a une personne qui manque la ville de Paris. Moi, je manque le pays et la langue. Un jour je vais revenir. "Combien de creme mademoiselle?"

Phats - yes, that could be it. Something around Thursday went tits up on your blog. It hasn't crashed my computer, just the browser. No worries.

haha you said tits!

Did you try it lately? I deleted that whole entry. My friend Seahag said it loaded right away, but I don't think she was having problems. I would like to get it fixed if certain people can't read it, shannon said it took awhile for it to load.

Phats - it much better now. It loads as it did prior to the football post. I have no idea what was in the code, but now it does work properly. Yeah. It's no longer tits up.

that night blogger was being a bastardo and wasn't loading and i am not patient at all so I kept hitting things I bet I screwed something up, I kept getting an error that steph attempted to fix. Glad it's better.

Phats - Google's Blogger can be a bastardo? Wow, tell me something fresh and new. I'm relieved it's fixed.

Hey, does your school have a plan in the event there is a school shooting?

You're right Efo, I can't (and don't) by any means lay all blame on that doorstep. And the fact that consumers will stand for that type of film says that it's not all the filmmaker's doing. Obviously there are people being produced who eat this shit up. It's kind of weird in that it's (IMO) both a contributing factor to AND a symptom of the problem.

Ratings are only as effective as the people who use them. I don't think there *is* a fix for our society that can be applied from without. It's something that parents are going to have to come up with from within - taking responsibilty for their own children and actively parenting them rather than laying the "burden" of parenting on "the village." The whole "it takes a village thing" makes me nauseous, whether you interpret it as "others are responsible for helping to raise my children" or "I have the right to interfere in how you raise your children."

OK, really, this is more serious than I generally believe in getting in cyberspace and is now impinging on dangerously political ground. Which is a place I don't go online. But don't worry, I wasn't feeling even slightly picked on. You raise very valid points with which I quite agree.


No, no maple yet. We all got home from TKD a little after 9, did dinner and all that. Sbucks is too far away for a midnight (or 1:30 am) jaunt. :-P If it came down to maple or pumpkin, and you could only have 1 for the week (or 2 weeks, or month) what would you choose? Or would itbe something else entirely?

OMG poor Jaichan has now tasted the forbidden fruit. Does that monkey on her back have my name on it? ;)

You're right, turning a blind eye surely can't help!
I fought a lot as a kid and was not allowed to come and complain at home if I got beaten. And am a girl.
But then, like everyone would agree to say, we finally just don't know, have no clue and might never have about what pushes people to do such things! They need help, but what kind of help since we don't even know what their problem is! You watched violent movies and played bloody games ad turned out allright so why shouldn't someone else? We're different and many factors shape us into what we turn into.
Was it Stephanie who said that we just lack humanity? She's right, I thinkit finally just comes down to that one thing: humanity and empathy.

Fitèna

PS: Like the green home!

Ooooh, maple latte! I haven't seen it in Chicago yet.

I totally agree with you on the news lately. When people go after the Amish, something isn't right.

at the risk of sounding politically offensive, i think the problem is already far too endemic, particularly in the States. it reached a stage where it is already a cultural phenomenon. very sad really. i don't really understand why it happens the most there and not in other places (or it does but to a much lesser degree), but i suppose it's similar to why the west find it hard to understand when asians get on the street and start burning things down. there's a very sick tension within, not really sure how to approach that.

sad, really.

I feel the same way. We've become desensitized to the world around us. Well, I did until I started taking this new birth control that actually just made me tear up over that post, but yeah...I know what you mean.

Okay, so again with a lighter note I am going to go and try that new macchiato...right now. I'll let you know what I think in about 20 minutes.

Okay, I'm back. The maple is delicious. I 100% reccomend it.

Yes I like the green look too egan

Tall Chick - I love your serious side Candace. I think it's good to throw some ideas out there and that was my aim on this post. Parenting really is key. I'm not a parent at this point of my life so I can't say too much about it. I know what worked for me and therefore I have to praise my parents for their hard work.

I did see Jaichan had the pumpkin latte. Life is about choices and so is coffee. Now you have to choose between maple and pumpkin, not a bad choice to have to make.

Fitèna - sounds like you and I have that fighting thing in common. I had so many siblings it seemed like I was always fighting. It got old fast. I avoid fights like you wouldn't believe. Fighting is the most useless thing and proves nothing. Yes, I agree about the lack of humanity comment. Au revoir!

Cheryl - it's just so wrong. I tried to put myself in the parents head. Killing six girls with a gun? Damn, how sad. Now that we have that out of the way, go try the maple latte. Trust me, it's in the Chicago stores. I have a very reliable source.

Treespotter - huh, interesting point. I'm not sure I've ever thought it crazy when I see asians burning stuff down. Are you talking about what happens in Indonesia, East Timor, and Cambodia? That stuff happens here too. School shootings do happen more in the U.S., but they are not unique to North America. I've heard many stories about school shootings across the globe. It's a sad problem. I can't imagine how crappy it must be to be a parent and fear this won't happen to your children.

Blonde Vigilante - you teared up over this post? Wow, I didn't think this was a tearful post, but I know birth control does weird things. Thanks for trying it...

Blonde Vigilante - ... and thanks for liking it. It's on the subtle side which is why I like it. Maple is good.

Phats - I'm thrilled you like the green look. Now, can I call you a smartass?

I had to stop watching the news because it's too depressing.

Lately, my new (old) favorite drink is a non-fat latte, extra foam.

WTF! why am i getting called a smartass, I mean I am one but why? haha

I have always been a lover not a fighter. This school shooting crap is just plain nonsense, and unfortunately very contagious

Pants - I hear you, but we can't ignore what's happening. Things don't go away if we look away. I know what you mean though. I love that drink selection. Extra foam is the shit. The extra foam on a maple latte rocks.

Phats - see what I mean?

Trick - yeah, there are many copycats out there. Ug, I hope we don't hear about any more school shootings the rest of the year.

This sort of violence is sickening in and of itself, but the fact that these people are preying on children is beyond comprehension. Particularly when some of the culprits are children themselves. I have no answers. I wish to God that I did. This world has become such a scary place. I have two nieces who are teachers, and I pray for them a LOT.

Evil Genius - I also wish I had answers. I think if we can throw around some ideas we might make some headroom. You and I are only two people, but we can hopefully sway some important people to take this seriously.

I didn't read all of the comments, but I read the beginning set. I don't think that letting kids "fight it out" is the solution. There are a multitude of problems that affect these situations. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer, either.

I admit that a touch of worry crosses my mind when I first hear about these horrific stories. Like you, Egan, I begin to feel numb the more we learn about new shootings taking place, though I was extremely horrified by this particular shooting. But, I would never let something like this stop me from being a teacher. Maybe I feel this way because I grew up in a family of police officers. We never knew if my dad would make it home each night. If anything, these types of things intensify my desire to teach because I'm driven more to show compassion towards my students. Sometimes a little more compassion from teachers can make the difference between a child letting out his anger healthfully (such as in writing) and taking up a weapon and releasing his wrath.

I know that being a parent today is more difficult than ever before (well, so I hear, haha). However, too many people are becoming parents who shouldn't; they aren't taking the time to actually PARENT their child(ren). Don't have kids if you can't put in the time to truly raise them and devote your lives to them. Thankfully there are so many amazing parents out there. (THANK YOU TO YOU AWESOME PARENTS!) However, I do wish there were more.

When I think about this story, my heart doesn't just go out to the victims' families and the Amish community. I also pray for this man's wife and children. God, what his own children will have to live with and grow up knowing. I pray for them all.

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