Les Singes: The Life of Monkey Boy

Ferries for Fantasy

Wohoo, my wife and I are back from our little retreat north of Seattle.  It was a pretty good visit I must say with one petite exception, you can read about on your own free time.

When we arrived on Friday it was a downpour and didn't stop raining all night long.  We weren't optimistic things would improve, but boy did they ever.  The weather was fantastic on Saturday, the views atop the 2400 foot Mt. Constitution were breathtaking, the shopping in the quaint village of Eastsound was fun, tons of sea stars could be seen from our hotel room, and our meals on Saturday were spectacular. 

I'm not sure how many times I can say this, but I love riding our state ferries.  You know...  like the ferry pictured in this photo, the large green and white vessels.  For those who have never been to Seattle, it's one of my favorite recommendations for visitors.  Hop on a ferry and cross Puget Sound somewhere.  It's a great way to see the beauty Washington has to offer along with a decent amount of sea life*.

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While this wasn't my visit to Orcas Island, it was definitely one of the more memorable trips.  My wife and I had a nice time.  I will remember this trip for a long time, or so I hope.  My previous visit to Orcas (pronounced "oar-kuss") Island happened in about 1994.  I remember very little from that trip except that I visited the island on mountain bikes with my college girlfriend and her family.  Many of the other details about the trip are rather hazy.  It got me thinking about how it could happen so easily.  While attempting to recall the details of my previous San Juan Island visit, I kept mixing memories from other trips.  If this is what happens when we age, I best do a better job documenting my travels via my blog(s).  I don't like losing those memories one bit.

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RULED OUT BABY NAMES:  Sue, Liz, Max, Molly, Leanne, and Selima. (theme = Jessica Alba character names)

*if you're lucky

Six Sells

Six glorious years! Our wedding anniversary is here so I felt obligated to post one of our earliest couple photos. This one was taken in the summer of 1998 at Mt. Rainier National Park. At the time this photo was snapped I was living in Portland, Oregon and my then girlfriend resided in Seattle.

We did the long distance thing for about seven months and then began our life together, moving in our first Seattle apartment on Valentine's Day of 1999 in the midst of a downpour. I knew within a few weeks after meeting her in July of 1998 how great she was on the inside and outside. Therefore I wasn't at all concerned we were taking things too fast.

One thing leads to another... it's 2007 and we're expecting our first child. Wow, time sure does move fast. Six years. That's more time than I spent on one undergraduate foresty degree. 2001 really wasn't the best year for many people, but our wedding in Maui still remains a bright spot. We had thirty of our closest friends and family attend the wedding. They made the special wedding week in paradise an absolute joy. Thanks Mrs. Lessinges for six wonderful years!!

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Hannah, Emme, Glenelg, Nan, Renner, and Xanax. (theme = palindrome names)

BYBW

BYBW?  Not sure what this abbreviation means?  Well, it's Bring Your Brat to Work day at many companies.  The purpose of this day is to show your kids what you do at work, inspiring them so to speak.  Some folks take it a bit far though and bring six month old Johnny to work.  I'm not really sure there's anything educational Johnny will be learning.  I suppose I could bring my daughter to work with me someday in the future.  I think she might be rather bored watching me type shit on the computer while not looking at my hands. 

Oh, Mrs. Lessinges coined the term Bring Your Brat to Work day.  This is yet another reason I love her.  It cracks me up each time she says it.   But the real reason I appreciate my wife is because she makes me laugh.  I don't think much more has to be said.  Laughter is such a key part of any relationship, whether it be family, friends, co-workers, or a spouse.  Without laughter, things just aren't all that interesting.  It's what keeps us humble, keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously. 

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By this time next week our basement bathroom remodel should be complete.  I wasn't able to take any pictures since they poured new concrete yesterday.  Tile is up in the shower and they will begin tiling the floor today.  Once the tiling is complete, they should only be a day or two away from the finished product.  I didn't think it was possible to be so elated about a remodel project.  Then again I never thought cropping pubes would make for a great blog topic.

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Jamison, Fifi-Trixibelle, Eve, Sailor, Chastity, and Dreena. (theme = celebrity offspring)

Character Draws

Anniversary love week continues on this very blog.  To some these posts could be nauseating so apologize in advance.  Consider yourselves warned.

I've compiled a list of some character traits my wife exhibits that make her such a special person in my life.  This isn't a complete list, just a sample of her various offerings.  *More examples available upon request.

Feisty --> you know how they say don't get gremlins wet, well don't fuck with my wife at the airport during the holidays or when it comes to workload.  I've only seen her unhinged a few instances in my life and damn was it terrifying and funny at the same time. 

Plants --> my wife worked at a plant nursery when I met her.  She has a very good knowledge of plants and is very handy in the garden, except when pregnant.  See, when you're pregnant it's not good to handle cat poop.  That's my job now and I honestly enjoy working in the yard.

Communication --> this my blog friends, is the biggest perk. I'm huge on communication and we really mesh well in this aspect.  We're typically on the same wavelength when it comes to hunger, kids, politics, the environment, and pube cropping.

Acceptance --> okay, this shouldn't come as a surprise since Mrs. Lessinges takes me as I am.  However, I'm talking about acceptance in terms of who she is as a person.  She's comfortable in her own skin and this a huge turn-on. 

Little Feet --> did I really type that?  There's something so irresistible about her size six feet.  The cool thing is most display shoes are her size. 

Music Taste --> she's got a refined ear for music.  Her dad's rock influence is a huge part of her music background.  She knows lyrics to songs by such varied artists as Pink Floyd, Cure, Beth Orton, The Rolling Stones, Helmet, and Fiona Apple. 

Tolerance --> this is a loaded one.   She's a very tolerant person when it comes to people of all types.  What I mean here though is her ability to drink a studly man, such as yours truly, under the table.  I think it's an Illinois thing, but I could be wrong.  Thankfully those getting wasted days when we met are a thing of the past.  The woman never pukes, never! 

Mind --> I'm not sure I need to go any further.  This one's rather self-explanatory.

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To even this all out, next week I will blog about the people in life who wronged me and my grand plans to exact revenge.  Stay tuned folks because nothing increases blogger readership like a man scorned.  All this sappy talk about my wife must be countered.  John Boucher from second grade, keep your distance.  Middle school creep, Joey, who left nasty messages on our nifty answering machine, you're mine!

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RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Locusta, Waneta, Gwendolyn, Delfina, Waltraud, and Velma. (theme = female serial killers)

Yolks from the Underbelly

If you haven't heard, my wife and I will be celebrating our sixth anniversary on Friday.  I'm not sure why you would already know this unless you're one of those people who actually reads other people's comments on blogs.  Anyways Monkey Boy, stay focussed.  We're only working a four day week and heading a couple hours north of town for a couple nights.  We unfortunately weren't able to swing the Hawaii thing since accomodations were nearly impossible to find in our price range.

Instead we'll hang in the San Juan islands, a stone's throw from Canada.  It will be a nice relaxing time and our last official trip out of town before things get insane pregnancy-wise.  You know the whole third trimester is on the way, 14 more weekends.

Since it's the week of our anniversary I'm required by law to share stories about my wife.  Without further ado, here's one we joke about often.  Let's call them nerdy food puns.  The most common word is falafel.  Think of all the words which happen to rhyme with falafel and you have yourself a rather falafel-ly amusing time.  The falafel jokes rarely get old, if you ask me. 

On Sunday we made falafel patties and ate them for lunch on our back deck under mixed skies.  I'm not sure which brand they were though, but that's not what's important here.  What's wicked important is how we had leftovers and are both eating them for lunch here on Tuesday.  My wife called me during lunch and I made a falafel joke about her hunger.  It went some like this:

Mrs. Lessinges: you make me so hot Egan, so hot.

Me: That's a falafel shame since you're preggers and all.

Mrs. Lessinges: You don't know hummus that makes me laugh.

Me: blah blah blah... [pauses for a couple seconds] ...did you say what I thought you said? 

Mrs. Lessinges: yes

Me: I need to write this ....  [insert childish laughter for roughly 30 seconds] ...this down  Nice use of hummus.

I tell you, food puns rarely pass their expirary date.  *Note, some of the above dialogue has been fabricated which explains why this post isn't categorized as "Mrs. Lessinges Approved".  I'm willing to make up a story like this to protect the innocent.  As I'm rereading this, it's clearly something you had to overhear, it's pita that way.

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Renee, Natasha, Jaslene, Brittany, Dionne, and Jael.  (theme = America's Next Top Model Cycle 8 contestant names)

There are Flies on the Windshield

Amazingly, it has been a week since 32 people's lives were ended early by a very disgruntled man on a college campus.  Over the past week I've done much thinking about death, having witnessed it first hand and from afar.  It really is a tough topic to contemplate as I'm preparing to be a parent.  For whatever reason it really changes your outlook.

Not only did those 32 people die in the past week, but a family friend of my wife's passed on Friday night.  She was 88 years old and so incredibly full of life.  I met her a couple times and her presence will definitely be missed.  Her family runs a publishing company for horticulture books and will continue to do so in her absence.

When a loved one is lost, it causes us to slow down and reflect on our own lives.  Are we doing what we want to do with our lives?  What's our purpose?  Am I happy?  How can this happen?  What about my will?  How will I be remembered?  Do we have emergency plans in place?

All sorts of questions, thoughts, and worries race through our minds.  There are days when life seems completely unbearable and you're not sure how you can move on.   Somehow though, it does happen and the wounds heal slightly each day.  It's not a fast process and doesn't progress at the same rate for everyone.   When my siblings passed away I was in shock and didn't know where to turn.  I thankfully have incredibly supportive friends who were willing to listen, providing me with an outlet for my emotions.  The first few days were absolutely painful and then days became weeks and weeks became months. 

Personally my brother's death triggered an awakening in my life.  In 1991 one of my siblings died in a car accident.  I think the first 18 years of my life were blissfully ignorant of the world around me.   Even after losing my first sibling in 1989, I shut down a bit and didn't fully deal with his loss.  I made sure this wasn't the case in 1991.  I came out of my shell when my brother passed away.  The sudden nature of his loss shook me to the core.   I took his death to signify how life is about living and enjoying it to the fullest.  This can be a drawback as I don't think long-term as often as I should.  However, I think it enables me to enjoy "the now" and appreciate the small things. 

I would do anything in the world to bring both of my siblings back.  It has been far too long since they last invaded my dreams, but their memories always linger.  They've never left my thoughts as there's not one day since either of their deaths where I didn't think about them.   Death can be a lot like birth, a reason to celebrate life.

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Andrea, Donna, Cindy, Gina, Brenda, and Camille. (theme = girls of Beverly Hills 90210)

I'm the King of the World

There are special moments in life when we might feel like we're on top of the world. You know, as if you were sporting the Cloak of Invincibility. Maybe this occurs when we conquer a difficult test, task, get accepted to a college, do something physically demanding, or perhaps it's civil union. The feelings accompanying these moments are hard to forget since the euphoria sticks with you for a long time. With fourteen and a half weekends left until one of the bigger moments in my life, daughter's birth, it got me thinking about life accomplishments.

1. Marrying my wife in Maui -- it may sound cheesy, but it was damn awesome and utterly perfect. Stay tuned for more details on this.

2. Completing Ironman Canada -- something I never imagined doing two years ago.

3. Summiting Mt. St. Helens -- climbing the volcano the first time was so incredible. Looking down the barrel of an active volcano is breathtaking.

4. Pac-Man high score -- I set the high score on the arcade game in my pre-teens with a crowd of about ten people watching over my shoulder.

5. Completing my first triathlon and marathon -- both were huge deals on their own right.

6. Getting accepted to college -- my lackluster college testing didn't hurt me too bad apparently. I gave my brother a kiss the day I received my acceptance in the mail. There may be others I can't think of right now, but these are the first six popping into my head.

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My wife and I spoiled ourselves Saturday night. After spending many hours in the yard gardening, it was time to grab some dinner. A milkshake sounded so good. Neither of us could stop thinking about the dairy delights while chowing down our meals in record time. I dare you to guess what kind of shake I ordered. I double dog dare you. elbbub mug. Damn was it ever tasty. Somedays I wonder if I'm not the pregnant one. After the dinner and shake I appeared to be about 13 weeks along.

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, Estelle, Rue, and Bea. (theme = the women of The Golden Girls)

Friday Fidgets

Pressure, it's all about pressure.  If you were told you had five minutes to blog about something as if it was your last post, what the hell would you choose?  Would you be reflective, humorous, argumentative, or silly?  Or maybe  something completely different.  Right now I tried to put some pressure on myself to get a new post out there and this is what you see. 

I think if I had one final post to write, it would be about all the cool things I've done in life and how thankful I am for the people I've met.  Yes, that does include you bloggers.  Think about this and let me know.  Keep in mind it would be your last entry ever.  You could speak your mind completely.  Would some of you remove your virtual veil and share some intimate details?  Just something to think about since I couldn't stand looking at myself on the birthing ball anymore. 

FKT: Birthing Ball

I got a really special request from someone combing through my archives last week.  This very kind blogger asked me to do another Fully Klothed Thursday post.  Well, I'm not sure if this photo will be to her liking or not since I'm lacking a threatening pose.  Bad things happen late at night in the basement of Monkey Boy, mainly blogging and much tv watching.

What you see here is a man who's due to become a parent in four short months.  It might make you wonder if there should be regulations in place for potential parents.  Perhaps a screening of sorts to make sure certain individuals are fit to raise kids.  If one can balance on a oversized ribbed ball, maybe this means they will be the best parent ever?  I went with a sports theme as you can see with all my flashy sports gear.  Call me a brand whore if you must.

For those of you as old as me, maybe you remember the Greatest American Hero guy.  You know the "Believe it or not it's just me" guy?  I kind of resemble him in this picture minus the ability to fly and a contract which likely paid him in the six figures.  Believe it or not, it's just Monkey Boy.

ARTICLES OF KLOTHING: 1) Nike prescription sunglasses 2) Nike visor 3) Road Runner Sports running jacket 4) long sleeve t-shirt from a St. Patty's Day run 5) Banana Republic low rise jeans 6) New Balance running shoes 7) white athletic socks 8) Timex watch 9) ginch

PROPS: 1) birthing ball

Garage Sale Value: $22 USD
Street Shock Value: 2 of 7

*Dull FKT Disclaimer - Feel free to mock or copy this crap idea of mine if you want. Don't feel obligated to do this thing every Thursday and shit. Don't fret, I won't send harassing emails to you on a weekly basis demanding you post some hot picture on your blog. That's way too much work for me and besides, I find reading other blogs boring. I try and spend as little time as possible reading and/or commenting on blogs. I prefer to spread my love for random people in other ways. I don't feel like delving into those sorts of details pubicly on my blog. Gnome sane?

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Claire, Shannon, Kate, Juliet, Libby, and Rose.

The Trees have Eyes

When I was a little boy and tough things happened, I'd run off into the nearby woods.  It was my way of escaping the situation and gaining attention.  When you grow up in a crowded house you feel your voice is rarely heard.  So I spent much time away from the house outside of school hours.  This can perhaps explain why I enjoy the outdoors as much as I do.  It was where I let my guard down.  It's where I became myself, a hyper little kid with a wild imagination. 

I used to build forts in the woods during the summer months.  We'd run up and down the ravine playing "war" donning camouflage clothing.  It was a tag-like game where you weren't caught unless someone spotted you and hit you with a certain type of weed.  This stocky weed, some kind of fern, was great for throwing and was very abundant in our lush forests. 

I recall being really upset at my parents once and escaping to the forest with my dog, Miska.  We hung out in the boy-made fort for quite a few hours that day.  All I would do was sit there and take in nature.  Somehow this allowed me to cope and blow off some steam.  This densely wooded forest is a huge part of who I am today; just as it was some 20 years ago.  I think it's time I revisit the forest as an adult.  In my head I can still relieve all the trails we blazed as the first kids in neighborhood.  Things are great in my life currently, yet there's nothing more soothing than time spent harmonizing with nature, soaking it all in.  I wonder if I can still climb trees.

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Note to self: if there's a chance a contractor may be in your house working on the basement bathroom, you might want to hold off on the early morning gibberish.  I'm just saying it would behoove you to keep odd noises to oneself.   It might also be good to not chat about grooming techniques of certain body parts.  Oh yeah, don't run around the house naked too.

Progress continues with our basement bathroom.  I didn't get a chance to take pictures last night.  They added a light above the toilet and installed our monstrous heater fan.  Lighting above the toilet is critical for toilet time. 

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Mallory, Rumela, Quin, Zelda, Willa, and Hazel.