Les Singes: The Life of Monkey Boy

Things that Begin with the Letter C

Crooks, criminals, Canada, and chill. Things were going so well this week. I nearly nabbed some crooks during a robbery. It turns out the real joke was on me though as a thug tried to break into our house later the same day. I am happy to report that slimy human didnt gain access to the house. 

Canadians are lovely people. There, I said it. They are so pleasant and it seems to me, they know more about American politics than us yankees. It's too bad most Americans can't return the favour instead of making lame jokes about subtle language differences or Canadian money. These are the sorts of things which keep me awake at night, not the damn criminals.

FKT: Onesie

Enter your own caption.

Onesies are abundant in our home so I snatched one and placed it atop my head. Creative? Not so much. This post proves no political affiliation whatsover and hasn't been endorsed by any candidate, including Ralph Nader. Perhaps politics will never be in the cards if I parade around the internet like this. Good thing my daughter finds some humor in my antics, for now.

All the Lights are Changing Green to Yellow

Neither here nor there. It's not as though I don't have anything to say. All of you know that's definitely not the case. I suppose I'm in one of those listening moods these days. There's so much happening and my mind's all tapped out. We're on the brink of some huge changes which I feel are best achieved if I bite my tongue.

Current status:

slightly battered; sore right foot from last week's wet soccer match

mixed regarding next week's Toronto junket; the thought of missing Halloween festivities bums me out

unshaven and needing a shower

optimistic my daughter won't get pink eye

not feeling like eating even though I should

still in love with ice cream

somber after visiting my brother's grave last weekend

loving my BlackBerry Pearl heaps

stoked our heating ducts will be cleaned out tomorrow

contemplative

troubled I blew off a Habitat for Humanity charity event today

happy to reconnect with peeps I've known since my Pac-Man champ days

to get a flu shot or not?

"present"

They Named a Town After Me

Last we spoke, I drove through boring Kansas, staying overnight in a lonely Wichita motel room. From there it was on to southern Arkansas where my friend and his wife were living. It was my first chance to see a familiar face since leaving Portland a week ago and my first opportunity to visit a nifty Wal*Mart.

I drove vast distances the first week in order to attend a weekend wedding in Memphis. Prior to leaving my friend's Arkansas house Saturday morning, their phone rang. My girlfriend called with some news. She was pregnant! I kid. She purchased a one way ticket to Chicago, where her mom resides. She would meet me in the Windy City in three weeks. Suddenly my mildly aimless road trip required a bit more planning to make it to Chicago in three weeks. My funds weren't growing so perhaps it was good have an "end game".

We drove a few hours from their Arkansas dwelling to Memphis for the lavish evening wedding. We saw Graceland, saw some not so picturesque parts of Memphis, touristy locales, and got drunk on the famous Beale street in the process. We drove back to Arkansas Sunday afternoon, recuperating in front of the tv that night.

After spending the weekend in Arkansas/Tennessee, it was time to head south Monday morning. I drove through humid Lafayette and pulled up shop at another KOA campground ten minutes west of town near Egan, Louisiana. I visited my namesake town for some fun photo opportunities. (pictures to come later)

Tuesday morning I rolled up my tent and drove east to New Orleans, parking my car in the French Quarter. I scouted out suitable restaurants and admired the city's architecture. What a great place to sample the local food offerings, or so one might think. I found a Wendy's, ducked inside, and ate some food. I slowly made my way back to my parked car, noticing people walking around with their alcoholic beverages. We have "open container" laws in my neck of the woods prohibiting the transportation of alcoholic beverages between establishments.

Paranoid about theft, I hightailed it back to my Honda destined for the next big city, Atlanta, Georgia. One of my brothers had relocated there from Seattle about a year or two before my road trip. Tuesday was memorable for two reasons: warm ocean water and hurricane damage. I'd never felt warm ocean water and never personally witnessed hurricane destruction. Both intrigued me immensely. In Biloxi, Mississippi where both paths merged near abandoned casinos and beaches, one could easily see the impact of Hurricane Georges in the region.

I arrived in Atlanta late Tuesday night. I spent three or so days in Atlanta from what I can remember. Great timing, my sister was also in town for a softball tournament. It was nice to see her and my older brother. I accompanied my sister to Six Flags one of the days. We don't have amusement parks in Seattle due to our perpetual gray weather. My visions of Atlanta were different than the reality. I pictured a flat brown landscape, but Atlanta is hilly and was far greener than expected. I hit the touristy Stone Mountain and some covered bridge near it. My brother and I went out a few times as I was introduced to the swanky Buckhead neighborhood of Atlanta and some dance clubs. The guys loved me!

Next up, Charlottesville, Virginia! My buddy, Cy, who happens to be celebrating a birthday today, October 17th, attended law school at the University of Virginia. I've known Cy since grade three. I spent a couple nights in Virginia and also visited some historical sights such as Yorktown, Thomas Jefferson's house in Monticello, Richmond, and the Confederate Museum. Not only did I get to meet up with Cy, but my other childhood friend Mike was stationed in Newport News. The three of us have been close friends since grade school so it was a unique treat to spend the weekend together on the other side of the continent.

Trip tracker:

1. Portland --> Boise, Idaho
2. Boise --> Provo, Utah
3. Provo --> Denver, Colorado
4. Denver --> Wichita, Kansas
5. Wichita --> Monticello, Arkansas
6. Monticello --> Memphis, Tennessee
7. Memphis --> Lafayette, Louisiana
8. Layfayette --> to Atlanta, Georgia
9. Atlanta --> Charlottesville & Newport News, Virginia

Joe the Blogger

Joe the Blogger wants to be recognized. Who cares about Joe Six Pack or Joe the Plumber? I'm a blogger and I have needs. I need to know which candidate for President will best suit my needs.

Somedays I'm torn whether to Twitter or not? Mr. McCain, what should I do? I mean should I let everyone know what I'm doing as often as possible or should I continue using Facebook for that sort of thing?

Mr. Obama, there are days when I write posts and I leave them in a "draft" status. Those unpublished posts are incomplete and could be potentially hurtful. What would you do? Would you "publish" these posts to share with others? Putting ones raw thoughts online can be a scary proposition.

I've been told it's not wise to use my daughter's real name on my blog. Mr. McCain, what would you recommend? Do you think it's a bad idea? Sometimes I will use her fake name of Baby Singe, but it doesn't take much effort to track down her real name. What say you my friend?

Is it wise to put so much of my personal life online? Mr. Obama, as a candidate for the highest office in the land, do you support bloggers openly sharing about themselves? What are your thoughts about anonymous bloggers? Yah or nah?

Memes, take them or leave them? John, would you ever do a meme? If so, would you tag anyone? Personally I'm not a fan of memes, but to each their own. They do shed light on bloggers we might not otherwise see. If you do memes, which are you favorites? The alphabet, numbers, music, or geography ones?

Final question to you Mr. Obama. Where do you see blogs going in the next few years? They seem rather abundant. They celebrated much hype a couple years ago. Now it seems everyone and their brother has one, yet personal blogs aren't as active. There are fewer guys blogging now than say two years ago. The current administration will have you believe it's because men aren't feelers, I beg to differ. Do you think there's value in promoting blogs? Will you bailout blogs if they collapse?

I'd like to thank both of you for your time. As bloggers, we have concerns and questions on our minds. We're important people and god damnit, people like us. Well, we may never "meet" the people who claim to love us, but you get the picture. Now, I'm off to read some blogs when I should be working. Yippee!

-Joe the Blogger

Strutting About Daycare

So yeah, we have our daughter enrolled in a weekly music class. I'm in the habit of visiting her during her thirty minute music session. I scurry across the street, peek in her class window from outside, and see her teachers frantically motioning their arms. I look around concerned something is wrong. Nope, our daughter is making her way around the room on her own two feet. My eyes got a little wet and I ran inside to witness it first hand.

This morning the girl was not walking. Mom gave her an ultimatum that she must walk or else. Perhaps the message sunk in more than we thought. Inside the class I was overcome with pride, she was walking on her own. I pulled out my BlackBerry and snapped a video to record her big accomplishment. Our world is forever changed...

Names Will Never Hurt Me

No, go get him. Tackle him, he's got the ball... not me.

When I was little I had a tremendous group of childhood friends. We did many things together to keep ourselves busy. I was rarely home after the bus dropped me off from grade school. My books would find their home on the kitchen counter and then I'd run down the street to go play with my friends, without even removing my "school clothes".

We played lots of games during my youth, whether it be hide and seek, bike tag, touch football, Ouija, butt ball, or smear the queer. Wait, smear the queer?

Yes, that was the name of a game we played when I was a kid. I have no clue where the name originated, but I knew the game well. Smear the Queer was like playing a vicious game of tag with a ball. One person carried a bag and would run away from the attackers. You would try to plow through them without hitting the ground, much like football. Why the person carrying the ball was referred to as a "queer", I don't get. I don't think I fully knew what the word "queer" meant until I was in high school. This front yard classic allowed us boys to be boys and burn off nervous energy without chewing ice or chasing girls on our banana seat bikes.

If you thought Smear the Queer was bad a bad name, there's one more though. I have trouble typing the name, Nigger Knock. Seriously, I hate typing it. Again, I haven't a clue where the name originated. Actually, this was less of a game and more of a prank since you'd knock on someone's door and then run before they could see your face. Do you suppose kids still ding dong ditch their neighbors? I only did it a few times because I felt horrible once the person arrived at the door.

Anyways, I have very fond memories of my childhood. Recently I've reconnected with many childhood friends via, you guessed it, Facebook. The positive memories are flooding my head space. The only negative is how these games acquired their names. Perhaps that's what I get for growing up in a rather homogenous Seattle suburb.

Those Countries

It's gut check time here politically speaking as we're less than 4 weeks away from electing a new president. After watching parts of the first three debates, there's something bothering me. Well more than one thing, but one which I'm seeking some feedback. We all know Palin is nutty, that's not up for debate.

Seriously though, I want to know how America can tell other countries what they can and can't do within their own borders. Why is it okay for America to build nuclear weapons, but not okay for Iran or North Korea? Hell, try trespassing on Joe American's rural acreage and someone will likely shoot your eye out.

What makes the reasons any different for North Korea or Iran? Why can't they build nuclear weapons if we continue to amass our own arsenal? By no means am I condoning political activity by either country, but let's call a spade a spade. Our actions locally and abroad don't warrant any bragging Country of the Month awards. You know...

I Thought I Saw a Dust Devil

Kansas.

Salt, Mountains, Desert, and a Divide

I woke up in the middle of nowhere Monday morning and was headed into virgin territory for the remainder of my trip. After spending a night in Boise, Idaho, I left familiarity in the back window. I headed south towards Utah. My lofty driving goal for was somewhere in the greater Salt Lake City area. I hit some road construction on the way, but made it with enough daylight to spare.

Upon my arrival I scurried into an Albertson's grocery store to get some snackies before checking in at the Provo KOA campground. I had ambitious thoughts of camping out almost every night, but this wasn't the reality. During my six week road trip, I ended up camping outdoors twice. The next camping didn't happen until I reached Louisiana.

I unpacked my belongings and got all cozy in my tent. It was a blustery night. I was in a fragile mood as it had been two full days since I last spoke with my girlfriend in Seattle. We weren't able to connect my first night in Boise and my two calls from the KOA pay phone went unanswered.

Not to fear though, I had her sweet stories to read. You see my girlfriend wrote 21 stories to accompany for the first three weeks of my trip. I was to read an entry each day. Trust me, they were tearjerkers. Before I left town, I read one while packing my belongings in Portland. I was sobbing like a one year old who can't walk, yet.

The wind howled through the campground all night long. The freeway noise made it tough to relax, but I had to keep telling myself "I'm doing this. I'm doing this". I was out there making my way across country by myself doing something I never thought possible.

I must point out, mix tapes weren't my only companions on my trip. My niece gave me one of those Tamagotchi Pets on my last visit to Seattle. I never once fell asleep at the wheel because my mind was ever so focussed on keeping the digital pet alive.
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Tuesday morning, I packed up my belongings saying goodbye to Provo, hitting the highway again. I was off for eastern Utah and then the Mile High city, Denver. I don't know how I pictured eastern Utah to be in my head prior to my trip, but it was nothing like what I saw out my Accord's windshield. Sparse and beautiful. It was truly amazing to see the vast nothingness of the Utah desert.

I arrived in Colorado with much anticipation. About eight years before my road trip, I seriously considered attending a small forestry college in Colorado. I did opt to stay close to home, but the state still cast a spell on me. I recall seeing the Rocky Mountains from the distance and being so impressed and enamoured. They rise out of ground and are such a stark contrast to anything else on Colorado's front range.

Still, I wasn't certain my aging car packed with all sorts of gear would be able to labor up Loveland Pass, 11,990 feet above sea level. I cranked up my car's heater to ward off its tendency to overheat, sucking the hot air away from the engine. Anyways, the car made it over the pass, gasping for air in the far right lane. We coasted downhill to a modest altitude of 5,280 feet in Denver where I found a cheap Motel 6 on the outskirts of town.

I kicked myself that night as I didn't give myself more time to explore the Colorado wilderness. I wished I got off the beaten path to see the natural beauty that is Colorado. Instead, I took a shower, ate some food, and then watched a little television before calling it a night. One last peek at my car parked outside my room before an emphatic flick of the light switch.