Les Singes: The Life of Monkey Boy

Out of Office: Jury Duty

There are times when I don't feel I have much to share on this blog. Usually it's because I lead a boring life now that I'm a parent whose triathlon pursuits have passed me by.

For the next two weeks I will be a juror in a criminal trial. As a juror, the judge gave us instructions to avoid media and to not conduct "individual research". Of course this pertains to the trial at hand, but it's a good reason to avoid newspapers, websites, radio, etc.

You can bet I will have plenty of content because my first three days in court have been very eye-opening.

Favorite court/juror observations: 

Dude using BlackBerry during hearings, same guy's cellphone going off twice in courtroom during voir dire, sleeping on the floor in the juror waiting area, plenty of people making completely new friends based on jury duty.  It should be an educational two weeks.  More to come my good friends.  

Nothing to Eat

I owe you this. I owe you many things, but I need to get this off my chest. A week ago Mrs. Lessinges had sharp abdominal pains. She took last Friday off work hoping a little down time would ease the pain. Not the case. Friday morning we visit the doctor's office for some blood work, poking, and prodding.

I get back from work Friday night and learn via her doctor her white blood cell count was very high. The doctor suggests she go to the emergency room because of the discovery. Later Friday night we go to the ER after securing a babysitter for the evening. She spends all weekend in the ER and does get discharged Sunday afternoon.

At one point in time it seemed she was destined to go under the knife for her appendix, but they ruled that out. She's currently on antibiotics and we're hopeful the many pills will temper her inflamed colon/appendix. The source of the abdominal pain isn't known and that is perhaps the tough part about all of this. You see a similar event happened in April of last year while she was in Japan. Talk about horrible, but she made it through and hoped to not deal with the associated pain again.

I'm just going to throw this out here since October is almost complete. 2009, not going down as one of my favorite years in recent memory. My job has been more stressful than I'd like. Mrs. Lessinges work has been much more insane than mine. My work, aww I can't go there as I'd like to on my blog. I've lost touch with my blog and most of what's happening in your lives. I'm more out of shape than I'd like to be.

Our daughter has been great, but don't let any parent tell you otherwise... this parenthood gig is a lot of work. Having a verbal daughter who likes to assert her presence is fabulous, except when it comes to the bedtime routine.

Anyways, my wife is okay. Her health could be better, but I'm optimistic surgery or anything as invasive can be avoided. One more week of antibiotics and then she can put her mind at ease for a bit. Take care everyone and no, we're not moving to Europe.

Not The Situation Room

Something is wrong. Something is completely amiss with our political system. I have to say it's downright annoying me. Currently there's much debate about the health care reform. I'll just put it out there that I'm supportive of the President's health care plan and leave it at that.

During the President's speech last night some politician, purposely left nameless, decided it would be wise to burst out "you lie" when Obama discussed how illegal immigrants won't be covered under his health care reform plan. I'm not really sure this person shouting from his chair understands protocol, but whatever.

Here's what bugs me. The justice has been swift for this guy as he's already issued an apology to the President. I don't believe the guy has much integrity behind his words, but at least he apologized. Just before composing this blog entry I saw a Facebook Update how a "grassroots" campaign already raised $400,000 for this guy's future political opponent. This is all well and good, but part of me thinks our country is behaving like eight year old boys on a school playground. Can't we let this guy dig his own grave instead of all these knee jerk reactions? Giving him any extra press only rewards him for his outburst. My guess is someone stupid enough to say this has likely already ruffled plenty of feathers, making his re-election complicated.

The shouting out during the health care forums, ad campaigns created by MoveOn.org, boycott after boycott... will it ever end? I'm happy people feel so passionate about politics because they're important. However, I do think there needs to be civilty on both sides. Listen to the issues, speak when the other person is finished, take deep breaths, and realize how we're all in this together. This is our country to collectively improve so let's do it.

Let's Do This

A week ago today I was hanging out with my buddies for our second annual Mancation. It was an adventure, foreshadowing. Last year my wife coordinated the festivities with my friends as a surprise weekend getaway. It was extremely awesome as I had no idea it was happening and so giddy when my pals showed up at my house to whisk me away.

This year we didn't have the element of surprise going in our favor. We had a desire for five college friends to get out of town and relax. Last year we went mountain biking in Eastern Washington. This year we planned something similar on the Columbia River Gorge.

I took last Thursday and Friday off work and drive down to Portland with my amigo Jason. Thursday night we hung out in The Rose City and watched a soccer game with another friend from college. It was a really fun time and something I plan to do again.

Friday and Saturday we rented a sweet house on the Columbia River Gorge. If you've never been to the Columbia River Gorge, then put it on your list of places to see. It's quite a remarkable area. Our plans once again centered on mountain biking. Although fishing got thrown into the mix. I don't fish though, but I do drive a kickass Subaru so I shuttled the guys back and forth from the fishing hole to the house.

Saturday rolls around and I'm just not feeling the mountain bike thing. Call me a year older or just lazy, but we opted out of the mountain bikes. We sat around our portable electronic devices tagging each other in photos Saturday morning. Then we officially cancelled the bike reservation and had to find a new activity.

Disc Golf

For those not in the know, disc golf is golf with frisbees. This would be your chance to laugh. Five dudes in their mid 30s skip out on mountain biking to play disc golf instead. The course was nine holes, however we didn't play all nine even though it took us a good half an hour to find suitable playing "discs". We arrive at the disc golf park and at hole one there's a warning sign that says something like "see that crap near your feet, that's poison oak. It will be everywhere on the course so I hope you brought Calamine lotion". I may have embellished.

We saw the sign and for some reason decide to play a few holes. We lose one of our five discs on hole two and miraculously none of us contracts poison oak. After hole three we decide enough is enough. The course was overgrown and rather shitty. We thought we'd have a glamorous story to tell at the end of our Mancation 2009, but really... I can sum it up with the following keywords.

Basement ping pong, no fish caught, poison oak, watching kiteboarders, Hood River, portable devices, Leeroy Jenkins, coffee, beer, relationships, good friends, and scary toll bridge.

On the drive home Sunday I got stuck in really bad traffic, adding two hours to the drive. The Mancation wasn't nearly as awesome as the previous year, but it's not about the activities. It truly is about the company. I'm cool with just hanging out doing nothing, which is pretty much what we did for a couple days. It's hard to find time as adults to hang out with my college friends so this is what our annual gathering is all about, friends. Thanks for playing!

Put an M Before the Word and Call it Good

People like to talk about the economy these days. It's sort of important I suppose considering how bleak things were a few months ago. I do feel like things have rebounded a bit, yet I'm not basing this on any scientific financial data. Hell, our house just appraised for $125,000 less than it did two years ago. Does it make me happy? Nope.

I mention the economy because it's been talked about ad nauseam. I think there's something to this though. As someone who was slated to be laid off at the end of January this year, I've survived layoffs. However, my new role at the same company is very challenging. There's lots of work to be done by fewer people. Those people, myself included, have much less time available for nefarious internet wanderings. I used to get home, chill out in front of the TV and read blogs for a couple hours. That's hardly the case anymore.

I don't take work home with me very often because my days in the office are chock full of work. The last thing I want to do at home is sit on the computer doing stuff for The Man. I'd rather tend to the family, the yard, or some other household tasks like folding laundry or killing wasps. It's a bit disheartening because I've lost contact with some great blogs and not by design. The wonderful thing about blogging is it's usually pretty easy to pick up where you left off.

To combat the challenge that is work we've planned our second annual "mancation". I know it's a cheesy name, but we're sticking with it. Last year's event was a complete surprise my wife slyly coordinated with my friends. We spent two nights in Eastern Washington doing little more than riding mountain bikes, drinking coffee/beer, and shooting the shit. It was my first true weekend away from my daughter. Since then I've been away from her a couple other times when I traveled to Toronoto for work last year.

So bring on the vacation. Oh, just in case your memory is shorter than the year is long, my wife went on a little surf adventure to Mexico earlier this year. I'm hardly leaving the state, but for four days I will be certain to leave work behind. That's what mancation is all about.

Holster Your Weapon

If things don't work out for me in my current line of work, I have some options. Consider the following.

a) I phoned the non-emergency number because I saw a man walking down the street with a gun on his right hip. It seemed very odd and out of place. The police said they'd dispatch an officer. I was told by a neighbor, who happens to be a prosecutor, within the city limits of Seattle it's not illegal to wear your holstered gun, provided it's registered and not loaded. I'm not really in the business of learning either facts.

b) I may have sent a text message to someone about litter in our streets. I get sort of pissy about rubbish not being properly maintained.

Both stories highlight a part of me that feels the need to get involved. Sometimes this is good and sometimes it's not so good.
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Weather, can you blog about the weather? Well I'm going to since it was 94 degrees in Seattle on Monday and it's supposed to be 97 on Tuesday and remain in the mid 90s through Thursday. Did you know bees love heat? I'm fairly certain we have at least one wasp nest in our attic. If I never see a wasp again, I will be okay with that. NOTE: I do love bumble bees and honey bees. Wasps are not my friends though.

Quiz: there are two cities in the U.S. that have never reached zero degrees and 100 degrees, that would be Fahrenheit. I'm sure you've figured out Seattle is one of those ciites. However, can you tell me the other one? The winner gets an iPhone sock.

Around Town: this weekend we will be celebrating my daughter's second birthday. Her birthday isn't quite next weekend, still I can't believe two years have ticked away. What has happened to me since then? What's up with my blog? Am I still doing triathlons? Let me answer the triathlon bit right away... I did one about a week ago and did alright considering my utter lack of training. The Chicago relatives in-laws will be here to join in the festivities. Our little girl isn't so little anymore. I wish you all well on this lovely Tuesday!

I Need a Periscope

I'm nosey alright. Normally I can figure out situations/relationships in a timely manner. However, these days I've been confounded by our new neighbors. When our old neighbors moved to San Francisco, they opted to rent their house. It took a couple months, but they did find some (entertaining) renters.

The moving day happened and we met some of the new residents. I remember one name from the eventful day. I recall the loads of kids I met which included three older kids and 15 month old girl twins. Family and friends helped with the move and we were excited to meet the new neighbors.

Six weeks later I still don't have a full grasp on the family relationships. I will admit this bugs me more than it should. I know who the mom is. I'm pretty sure she's the parent of all three of the older kids aged roughly 8-11, two boys and a girl. I'm 100% certain she's also the parent of the 17 month old twins.

That's where my certainty ends. Here are the cast of characters:

Female who drives a Toyota Corolla: The woman is rarely home when the mom is there. She's roughly in her mid 20s and has some sort of accent, sounds Russian. At first I thought she was a babysitter. Then I thought maybe a sibling because she works really long hours. The newest theory from Mrs. Lessinges is this woman is an au pair.

Older male who drives a Scion xB: he introduced himself as the mom's boyfriend on their move-in day. This man is easily in his late 40s and I haven't seen a sign of this guy in the past three weeks.

Male with baggy pants who drives a beat up black Mercedes: this man is for sure the dad of the 17 month old twins. He visits the house regularly and will dropoff the kids there. On occasion he will stay with the kids there at the house. I can only assume he and the mom have joint custody of the toddler girls. He has stayed overnight a couple times. Age, mid 30s, baggy pants and avoids eye contact.

Male who pumps bass in his black sportscar: this man is about my age, in his mid 30s: I think this guy is the mom's new main squeeze. I think the older Scion guy has been replaced by this guy. He first appeared on the scene about a week ago when he arrived to the house at 12:45am. I would say that's booty call, but one never knows.

Noisy old guy: this man drives a Ford minivan and will take the older kids places. I assumed he was the grandfather at first. Lately though, I've had a change of heart. I believe he could be the father of the three older kids. This man wears suspenders and assembled their dining table in the wee hours of last weekend. Fun Fact: this man left as soon as the Bass Pumping guy arrived last weekend for his booty call.

Good luck sorting this out. Sadly, this is the exact type to occupy my mind far too often. Enjoy your Fourth!

Il y avait cinq mois

The first five months of 2009 have been a blur. I'm pretty sure 2009 isn't technically moving any faster than 2008 or 1973, but things do seem to have accelerated in my life.

January - I learned I had lost my job, found a new job in the same company and therefore my blogging flourished for a couple weeks my fate was uncertain. I smiled, I cried, I LinkedIn, I worried, and finally I was relieved.

February - I began a new role as an Account Manager. It's a much fancier title than my previous four letter abbreviation. I smiled, I fretted, I was uncertain, and I essentially stopped blogging. The days of reading and commenting on vast numbers of blogs felt like a distant memory. Work and life were in the way. The Illinois Inlaws paid us a visit. During their visit I learned more about American Baby dolls than I care to admit. Someone I live with travelled to Mexico for a week of surfing.

March - we drove to Portland, Oregon to visit our friends. We had a splendid time and our daughter pleasantly surprised us with her ability to sleep in a hotel. Work remained busy, the weather remained chilly and cool in Seattle, and I think I commented on about five blogs during the entire month.

April - the sun came out, we rejoiced. My wife and I enjoyed eight years of wedded bliss, dining at a nice establishment with The Florida Inlaws. Took some time off work during the Inlaws visit to show them our fair city. If someone will ever buy their Florida home, they'd consider moving to Seattle. So far they've had no bites on their gated community house. I swam two days in a row with my father-in-law and that was a nice feeling as the pool and I aren't getting along too well recently.

May - we celebrated my 36 birthday. Mother's Day came and went and we took Baby Singe to Chicago for the second time. She was amazing. Not sure what I was truly expecting, but in my head I imagined her fussing during the flight since she was sitting on our laps. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact we got compliments at both ends of the flight regarding how well behaved she was during the voyage. We must be doing something right thus far.

In Chicago we had probably our best visit to the Windy City in recent memory. Baby Singe loved chasing her costumed cousin while saying "Batman" in her version of a deep voice. There were bunnies, birds, and ducks in the grandparents backyard which gave her something to watch every day. Me? I had a grand time enjoying the nice Chicago spring weather and not working. I also enjoyed seeing both of my inlaws naked. Yes, that happened. Let me tell you something, that's not something one ever forgets.

June - month six of 2009 is two days underway and I haven't seen any over the age of 60 naked yet. I consider this to be a success. At the end of the month my brother and his two sons will get to meet Baby Singe for the first time. I'm anxious to see my bro and his family.

Late Night Thoughts

• we will board a plane Wednesday destined for the land of deep dish pizza.
• we now have five new neighbors living next door. I arrived home to a toy Star Wars gun in the front yard. Time to fence in the backyard.
• I know the names of three characters in Dora the Explorer books, game on.
• I've yet to find the "next Twitter", but it doesn't mean I've stopped looking.
• the Florida in-laws visit was really nice. Our daughter really enjoyed seeing them again. I'm glad because she's going to be inundated with more family for the next week.
• I did some gardening for the first time in a couple years, digging up the grassed over veggie beds on the side of our house. Can sprinkler heads disappear?
• work remains busy and I have to say it has been a welcome change.
• later this summer consumers will have the opportunity to buy headsets which can be linked to their cellphones so you can look busy all the time. Get ready for Bluetooth; prepare for the evolution.
• shocked it has been nine years since my mom last worked as part of the US Census team. Seriously, it seemed like maybe five years ago...
• My fear of the post office still remains as I've yet to ship a phone to a blogger. I suppose he can wait if it's a free phone. Damn this nagging procrastinating gene of mine.
• I messed up my MacBook over the weekend trying to reload some software. I stayed up very late Saturday night trying to fix it, but eventually ended up taking it to the local Mac store on Monday. I was afraid it would cost me heaps of money to get the laptop fixed, but I'm happy to report they were much more helpful than I expected and didn't charge me a penny for a non-warranty repair.
• my daughter said "I missed you daddy" when I picked her up from daycare Tuesday. It definitely made me smile and tear up simultaneously. So darn cute.

Wiping Away the Smiles

A few weeks ago something rather embarrassing happened. I was late for work and thus late for dropping off our daughter at daycare. I sign her in, get her situated for breakfast, kiss her several times, and then exit her classroom. 

I figured I'd pay a visit to the bathroom because nature called and I wanted to feel fresher. I take a right in the daycare lobby and lock the bathroom door behind me. I'm minding my own business when a voice is heard approaching my position. My back is to the door as I complete my business. Suddenly I learn the absolute wrong way that I did not flick the deadbolt. I may have been hunched over with my pants around my ankles, or maybe it was just a dream. 

It was very awkward the next few days as I attempted to save face in the daycare office. Nobody should ever see anyone like this. The last time I walked in on someone doing their thing was age 17.  Then I had the misfortune of witnessing my elderly boss, Lorraine, pooping. I haven't been able to shake the image some twenty years later.  We're not supposed to see our elders sitting on a toilet or some blogger "cleaning". Gulp. 

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The in-laws are in town from Florida and so far so good.  It's really wonderful to see our daughter interact with them.  Her new trick is to wear her bunny bathrobe and run around our house naked after her bath.  She wears her robe with pride as if she were a professional boxer.  She owns the robe.  Yes, her pink bunny robe is monogramed in case one forgets her name.

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Final note:  this is to keep me honest.  About a week ago, prior to mounting my triathlon bike for the first time in about eight months... I entered the following Facebook Update "Egan is beginning his trek back to Ironman status".  Well I'm happy to report I've been to the pool two straight days this week.  Probably a first since at least a year ago.  I feel like this time I've really turned the corner and will be in fighting shape for this summer's triathlons.  In short, I'm still on track to regain form.  Keep me honest bloggers and away from the green tea ice cream.