Les Singes: The Life of Monkey Boy

Brett Favre Moments

A change is happening. It's not happening as quickly as I'd like to see, but I feel butterflies waiting to emerge. It's akin to how I felt back in 2004 after completing first triathlon. The excuses I've used the past two years are gone. I'm a dad, now deal with it and move on. There's no reason I should be letting parenthood get in the way, if anything it should create motivation.

Sure there are some x-factors making training more difficult such as work and my training partner being in the Peace Corps, but there are many others who are able to manage this workload and train on their own. There's no reason I can't step it up and make that happen for myself.

Monday morning I will run a half marathon. This half marathon is sort of sentimental to me since I will be pounding the pavement on streets where I used to ride bikes as a youth. Five years ago this was my first sporting event after registering for Ironman Canada 2006. I was fresh off a trip to Canada to watch the Ironman and lo and behold I signed up for the damn thing. The adrenaline was pumping September 2005 when I ran 13.1 miles faster than I ever have before.

Perhaps I don't chat about my athletic pursuits much anymore because I'm ashamed of how inactive I've become the past few years. I figure there's no time like the present to correct this and shed a few pounds. While I will never be a professional triathlete or runner, there's something incredibly rewarding about completing a triathlon or run. The sense of accomplishment is etched in your mind. I can still recall the euphoria of finishing my first half marathon in a driving November rain storm. It's these memories I miss and will achieve going forward. I ask you to keep me honest folks. Don't cut me any slack as I come out of retirement for only the 18th time since September of 2006.

Wiping Away the Smiles

A few weeks ago something rather embarrassing happened. I was late for work and thus late for dropping off our daughter at daycare. I sign her in, get her situated for breakfast, kiss her several times, and then exit her classroom. 

I figured I'd pay a visit to the bathroom because nature called and I wanted to feel fresher. I take a right in the daycare lobby and lock the bathroom door behind me. I'm minding my own business when a voice is heard approaching my position. My back is to the door as I complete my business. Suddenly I learn the absolute wrong way that I did not flick the deadbolt. I may have been hunched over with my pants around my ankles, or maybe it was just a dream. 

It was very awkward the next few days as I attempted to save face in the daycare office. Nobody should ever see anyone like this. The last time I walked in on someone doing their thing was age 17.  Then I had the misfortune of witnessing my elderly boss, Lorraine, pooping. I haven't been able to shake the image some twenty years later.  We're not supposed to see our elders sitting on a toilet or some blogger "cleaning". Gulp. 

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The in-laws are in town from Florida and so far so good.  It's really wonderful to see our daughter interact with them.  Her new trick is to wear her bunny bathrobe and run around our house naked after her bath.  She wears her robe with pride as if she were a professional boxer.  She owns the robe.  Yes, her pink bunny robe is monogramed in case one forgets her name.

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Final note:  this is to keep me honest.  About a week ago, prior to mounting my triathlon bike for the first time in about eight months... I entered the following Facebook Update "Egan is beginning his trek back to Ironman status".  Well I'm happy to report I've been to the pool two straight days this week.  Probably a first since at least a year ago.  I feel like this time I've really turned the corner and will be in fighting shape for this summer's triathlons.  In short, I'm still on track to regain form.  Keep me honest bloggers and away from the green tea ice cream. 

NMJC*

Sometimes, they're she's the life of the party. You have to allow her to do what she wants and chalk it up as "learning". How else is an extremely adorable (and chatty) toddler supposed to find out what works?

As you can see here, Baby Singe likes to sit on things. This picture was taken a couple weeks ago following her black-eyed peas incident. I know this because the purple rug in her room is mysteriously absent. There's an accompanying video for this classic picture, but it's sort of R rated. My wife and I can be heard giggling uncontrollably (not RFLMAO) because of immature jokes I made regarding "golden showers" and the inappropriate nature of said video.

Shortly after this picture was taken, she removed the diaper from her little body. From there she attempted to get back in her baby doll's tub. Five minutes later she nestled into the corner and squatted. Her first public pee. A day later we bought a potty seat and it's currently stationed in the bathroom. Now, I just need to teach her how to text message.

*NMJC - text speak for Not Much, Just Chillin'. Used by texting teenyboppers to answer the age old question of "what are you doing?"

Ikea Equals Love

I've talked about how this week is my daughter's first week in her toddler class. I may have mentioned it will require some changes for me. To break my habit of visiting the daycare unannounced, I have some things planned for the week.

First, it's Speedo™ time. I'm heading back to the pool and I must say this excites me. The pool is a sacred place for me. It's where I go the gather my thoughts and blog post ideas. It's not about the Speedo though. It's about the chlorine, backstroke, and very interesting locker room discussions.

Lunch date. I'm meeting a certain blogger for a nooner, I mean pizza. She's lived in our fair city for almost two years and I'm just now getting around to meeting her in person. Sizzle, it will be great to finally meet you.

Errands will fill up the rest of my time. I'm a fairly important person so there's always something to do, or at least I can pretend. One day I'll go to a large home improvement store and stare at lightbulbs. Another day I might walk to the post office. I will see whatever the day has in store. No matter what, I will not result to crude drawings on poorly parked cars. That's so 2006 of me.

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Questions to consider, but not necessarily answer:
1) do the Olympics unify or divide?
2) what's the American equivalent of a "walkabout"?
3) does anyone like Jessica Biel?
4) does anyone like me? (/pander)
5) Halloween ideas?

My Halloween ideas consist of slutty Boy Scout, Hillary Clinton, a Jonas brother, a clown, a dad, and news reporter. Seems like I might need to create a backup plan.

Ask a Swimmer

It's your turn folks.  The Michael Phelps hysteria is near its climax.  If you don't know who the guy or don't give a crap about swimming, you can skim this post.  Basically I'm offering my services up to anyone who has any questions about swimming.  I've been a competitiive swimmer since the age of seven so I'm pretty well versed in the topic.  No question is too lame, but I shall provide some examples.

Why do they shave their bodies before a race?  How does one do an eggbeater kick?  Is butterfly as hard as it seems?  When do they exhale?  Why are they such a fidgety bunch before a race starts?  Is the smell of chlorine an aphrodisiac?  Do they like movies about gladiators?  How do they avoid swim burnout? 

I'm here for you.  I taught swimming lessons from a very early age because that's what everyone in my family did.  It wasn't my most favorite job, it was just my first job.  I did learn a lot teaching kids how to swim.  I'm also not too shabby of a swimmer in my own right.   I continue to swim as part of my triathlon training and my overall fitness.  I'd be glad to offer swimming tips, answer any swimming questions, or pose in my Speedo.  So don't hesitate to ask.  I'm here for you and I won't even ask for any money.

Oui, I'm Fit

... the Wii Fit arrived on Friday and has been my achilles heel since.  The good thing is I now know a few yoga postures and I'm becoming quite flexible in the process.  Pictures to prove it will follow....

... the electronic ball & chain I mentioned in the last post hasn't been too bad so far.  It's making me realize how often I drive places when I could potentially walk.  I'm not 100% certain what this research study is all about, but it has me thinking about how I transport.  It was a tad socially awkward wearing the GPS unit to the wedding on Saturday night.  Blinking lights in my pocket aren't hot....

... speaking of the wedding, it was really sweet.  I know I've mentioned my neighbors before, but if you're newer to this blog or suffer short term memory... here's the story.  My neighbors were good friends for the past 12 years and were never really single at the same time.  A few years ago they were both unattached and things just clicked thus the courtship started.  They both have grown kids and are in the 50s.  It's fantastic to know love isn't just for the teeny boppers...

... after suffering through a really wet and cold winter and spring, Seattle's summer has been quite remarkable the past 3-4 weeks.  Summer in Seattle is truly amazing....

... ice cream.  Ice cream.  There's no better treat on a hot day aside from maybe jumping in the lake for a swim, with (or without) Speedo.  My mouth is watering thinking about some ice cream back at the house...

... will she or won't she?  That's the question.  Baby Singe just might walk by her first birthday, now three weeks away.  She's making great progress and she's officially learned how to work her parents.  I'm a big softy, this I know....

Every Step I Take

... they'll be watching me... every move I make, every vow I break, they'll be watching me.

Okay seriously, the last place you'd expect to see quoted Police lyrics is on my blog.  I mean, come on, the guy is very overrated, but let's table that discussion for another day.  

Friday morning when I get up I will strap on [don't go there] a GPS unit and motion sensor to my body.  I will wear both devices for seven full days as part of a voluntary research project for our local Children's Hospital.  This should be really fascinating to see how active I am over the course of the next week.  It's kind of weird to think about the places you frequent during your daily routine.  Now I'm a guinea pig in the research.

As a child I always thought it would be super cool if there was a way to see on a map all the places I've been.  I wanted so bad to see a detailed diagram of all my footprints.  Being part of a large family, my youthful wanderings weren't well documented thus I wanted validation of the places my parents claimed.  

"see right here Egan, you were in Mexico for three days in 1975.  Check the map"

While that sort of technology didn't exist back then, it does now.  So for the next seven days I will have a chance to run around town and skew the results of this project.  Honestly my goal isn't to skew the results in the least bit, but it will be very good motivation to be active.  Plus there's a triathlon to do in nine days.  

I've been instructed not to wear the devices while swimming.  Sorry readers, this means no pictures of me in a Speedo with my GPS and motion sensor on my right hip.  However, I can send autographed photos if that's more to your liking.  Thank you for your continued support.  You belong to me...

Teach Me

I am selfless, I am selfless, off to work I go...

My good buddy, Tod, boarded a plane Monday morning.  Normally it's not a big deal to hop on a plane and go somewhere.  However this time my friend is on his way to the Dominican Republic for a two year stint in the Peace Corps.  This is where I will begin to tell you how extremely proud of him I am.

It was 1991 and I was in my first college class, CFR 101, Introduction to Forestry.  My class met at 8:30am on the other side of our sprawling college campus five days a week.  I struggled to get there on time most days, shocking.  What I rememeber most though was this one tall dude who came in every day wearing a trenchcoat.  Sure it rains often in Seattle, but not many people wear trenchcoats* here, they're too damn bulky and really don't repel the precipitation.  Turns out this guy from Colorado was like some genius when it came to presidential trivia as he raised his hand and correctly answered some very obscure question about a 20th century U.S. President.  Who knew.

I later learned this guy was rooming with one of my high school buddies in the dorms.  He was a friend of a friend of sorts.  We got to know each other well during the first quarter of college.  That first quarter of college was hard on me as I lost a sibling just before finals week started.  Tod, along with other college friends, had my back thankfully and helped see me through a most difficult time.  Shortly after my family tragedy, Tod confided in me with a very personal family secret.  Trust was built and a lifetime friendship was established.

Tod and I had become fast friends.  The following year I asked him and a couple other guys living in the university dorms if they wanted to move off campus into my cool apartment.   He said yes and for the next three consecutive years, Tod and I shared a residence.  We made great roommates and had much to talk about in the wee hours.  Unlike me, Tod was able to graduate from college in four years.  Following college he worked an assortment of odd jobs on land and at sea.  Tod took trips to Mexico, sailed to Alaska, propped up tents, waited tables, but somehow always made his way back to Seattle. 

In 2001 I asked Tod to be my best man at my wedding.  He obliged by saying really sweet things about me and my wife before we exchanged our vows in Maui.  In 2004 Tod mentioned to me his desire to do an Ironman.  I sort of took a step back and winced.  In his own head, Tod knows he's not the most athletic person on the planet.  Perhaps that's what made me love his ambition even more.  So three weeks later we both did our first triathlon together. 

Amazingly a year later Tod convinces me to take a trip five hours north of the border to witness Ironman Canada.  I was on the fence about signing up for the 2006 event, however I caved as a result of Tod's pressure.  This meant from September of 2005 to August of 2006, Tod and I chatted almost every day and spent lots of time together training.  Sure we got on each other's nerves, but it was a sibling thing and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  The twelve months of bike training rides, swims, and runs was nothing short of magical.  Even when I nearly passed out 6 weeks before the Ironman as we practiced the actual Ironman bike course, Tod was patient with me and encouraged me to continue.  It also didn't hurt that yours truly downed roughly 4 bottles of Gatorade, 2 Snickers bars, and a bottled Starbucks Frappucino. 

August 27th, 2006 is a day that will live in infamy.  It's the historic day we both finished Ironman Canada.  Our goal was met.  After the Ironman, I laid low for awhile and basked in the glory.  This wasn't good enough for Tod though.  He ran another marathon only three months after completing the Ironman.  Most importantly, he completed his Peace Corps application and was promptly accepted.  I was honored to be his personal reference on the application and have been so happy I happened to befriend the trenchcoated man.

Tod visited us on Sunday as we said our last goodbyes for a couple years.  Our buddy, Téo, will definitely be missed.  Onward my friend and best of luck in your two years improving humanity in the Dominican Republic.  You will be missed, but definitely not forgotten.  Your good deeds are noticed!

*NOTE: this trenchcoat gave birth to the Monkey Boy character during our college prank days.

Blog Me Crazy

Are bloggers celebrities?  Okay, I know some have made it big time, but that's not my question or the point I want to make I suppose.  I guess what I want to know is the following: is it alright for bloggers to mock, ridicule, or impersonate other bloggers?  I know many bloggers use celebrities as a huge source of their entertainment.  Heck, Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole, and Britney have enough gossip surrounding them you could dedicate an entire blog to each of them.

Last week a few of you suggested I give feedback on my impressions of bloggers based on what I read.   I'm still torn whether or not that's a wise idea.  Part of me would love to do this, but another part of me thinks that could go against  some sort of "blogger code", burning bridges so to speak.  However, if it's okay for bloggers to ridicule celebrities... shouldn't it be okay for me to turn the tables and critique bloggers?  I'm just asking.  I know there are blogs in existence which actually rate other bloggers.

Celebrities know they will be subject to public scrutiny.  You can't tell me Lindsay Lohan didn't know the media would be so aggressive.  Celebrities put themselves out there and so do bloggers.  Our blogs are public and our stories are there for all to read.  Granted we pick and choose what to share.  I don't think any of us are making bank as bloggers, but would it be fair of a blogger to turn the tables and critique others?  Or is that an unwise decision? 

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Huh, anybody want to be this guy's sherpa as he attempts to summit Mt. Everest sans clothes?  The "Iceman" from Top Gun has nothing on this crazy fool.  I saw a story about a woman who swam for thirty minutes in the frigid Antarctic waters.  I thought I was hardcore by swimming the Ironman last year without a wetsuit, but these two folks really take the cake and make me feel very sane.

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TODAY'S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Chyna, Chip, Chloe, Charleton, Cheelisa, and Chimp.

Loofa Withdrawals

Earlier this morning I was a touch grumpy.  I didn't take a shower before coming to work which kept me groggy.  (not to worry gang, I showered at the pool after my afternoon swim today.)  While I was backing our Subaru out of the driveway this morning I almost plowed over some guy and his golden retriever.  Once I got the Subaru out of the driveway and parked on the street, it was time to back the MINI Cooper out.  I nearly scraped up the whole left side of the car.  You see we have a very narrow driveway, so narrow you can barely get into the car while it's in the driveway.

I was feeling a bit grumpy nonetheless.  So grumpy I could barely make eye contact with my lovely wife and did all I could to avoid smiling.  Not surprisingly she was able to crack me, a smile arrived. I dropped off Mrs. Lessinges at work and then spied one of her co-workers and his son in the parking lot.  They brought a second "natural" smile to my face because they're good friends of ours.  His son had his frog shaped rain boots on and was excited to jump in the newly forming puddles.  It has been raining pretty hard here for the past day or so and there are many miniature ponds taking shape.  Off to work I go...

Against all odds, I was able to remove myself from our four story brick building for a swim.  This is significant because it's been a huge task for me to workout in the post-Ironman world.  I keep justifying it as not a big deal, but it is.  Gaining ten pounds in two months isn't a good thing.  But I'm putting a stop to that now and will be in fine shape for the Seattle Half Marathon three weeks from now.  (I had to mention this on the blog so I will stick to it.) 

Egan tension release: I leave the building and scamper across the street where the MINI resides and drive myself to the gym.  Once in the car I plug in the iPod and pick a choice song from my Muscles playlist.  First up, The Rolling Stones and Start Me Up.  After that it was The Jayhawks with Save it for a Rainy Day.  Finally I was beginning to unwind.  I took a deep breath and just yelled inside the car three or four times.  It's amazing how a little yelling inside a tiny MINI can improve things. 

While at the pool I had to share my swim lane with another swimmer.  No big deal as it's only a four lane pool.  I took the right side and gave the lady swimmer the left side.  She was a pretty damn good swimmer and was obviously doing a pretty intense workout.  During one of our passes, she was coming towards me and I was approaching her in the opposite direction, I smacked the back of my right hand against her right hand in mid-air.  This isn't a fun sensation, but a fairly common occurrence for swimmers sharing a lane.  It's that or an accidental touch somewhere else on the body... She was gracious about the whole thing, but the back of my hand will remember the woman with the yellow "Kona" swim cap for a while.

The bad attitude from this morning is gone and I owe it all to the iPod and the pool.  I'm well aware how my fitness level determines my overall mood.  All I can say is "hello gym" et bonjour iPod!  Adios petit belly!

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Pssst, in blogging years... I will be two years old tomorrow.  Where have all the years gone?